Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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