im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
