sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
