So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm always down for nudity.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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