Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
