I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She said her name was "party"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
