this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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