those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Boobs are out for the taking
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
