Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
