You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My feet surprised me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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