He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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