I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
