She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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