What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
