Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
