Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
