you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize