I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
