he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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