You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
