im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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