I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
