singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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