does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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