i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
