pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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