My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
