Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize