I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
