Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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