these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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