When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Randomize
