Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
