Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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