batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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