fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize