She just used a chaser for red wine.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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