i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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