This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
