So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
