recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
