My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize