That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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