Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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