Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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