Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
