It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
