Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
