were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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