I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
