I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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