the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
