Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize