and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
