Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
