you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
