So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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