bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
