Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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