the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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