I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
