At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
