how can u be prego again
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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