i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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