Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
