Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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